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XRAYVSN

  • Blog
    • Finance
    • Lifestyle / Behavioral
    • Investing Basics
    • About Divorce And FIRE
      • Divorce & Fire
    • Grand Rounds
      • About Grand Rounds
      • Grand Rounds
    • Food For Thought
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      • The Waiting Room
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    • Disclaimer
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  • Who is Xrayvsn?
    • Who is Xrayvsn?
    • Target Audience
    • Disclaimer
    • “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”-Chinese Proverb
  • The Benefactors
    • The Benefactors
    • Real Estate
    • Disability & Life Insurance
  • CFE
    • About Continuing Financial Ed.
    • Continuing Financial Ed
  • X-ray Beam
    • About The X-ray Beam
    • The X-ray Beam
  • Doctor’s Bag
    • About The Doctor’s Bag
    • The Doctor’s Bag
    • Disclaimer
  • The Bill
    • About The Doctor’s Bill (Can You Afford It?)
    • The Doctor’s Bill
  • Guest Post
    • Guest Post Submissions
    • Looking For Guest Posts: Divorce and FIRE
    • Looking For Guest Post: Almost Went Into Medicine
    • Looking For Guest Post: I Broke The Golden Rule of Finance And Still Did Fine
  • Contact

divorce

 

Divorce.

No word in the English language strikes more fear to a wannabe FIRE walker than this.

In an instant, your assets can be reduced by half (or more) creating a seemingly insurmountable obstacle to your path to financial independence.

When I first posted about my own awful experience regarding divorce, several things happened:

It was a cathartic experience:

There were many things only a few of my closest friends knew about my divorce, and an even smaller select group that was privy to the details of my civil lawsuit.

For the longest time I felt burdened by the feelings that I carried with me from this ordeal.

When I started contemplating dating (by the way, I did not go out on a date for 2 years after my divorce was finalized as I truly did not want to have anything to do with women for the longest time), a lot of that emotional baggage resurfaced.

Just a simple question of, “Do you have any kids?”created a flood of emotions in me as I knew this could only lead to the inevitable discussion of why my daughter was not with me.

I felt embarrassed to even mention to my date how my daughter was wrongfully taken from me during the process of the divorce.

I felt I would be unfairly judged by someone who was just starting to get to know me.

By sharing my story on this blog, I felt like I released those demons.

I felt I would be unfairly judged by someone who was just starting to get to know me.

By sharing my story on this blog, I felt like I released those demons.

 

I am not going to lie, when I was actually writing the posts, I was forced to relive some moments that I had pushed deep into the darkest recesses of my mind.

Some of my previously suppressed anger started bubbling up as I again felt the injustice of it all.

But then after I hit publish, it slowly faded away and was replaced with feelings of accomplishment.

I had gone through the darkest chapter of my life and now was strong enough to tell that story to the world.

It also made me truly appreciate the accomplishments I have since achieved even more by reminding me again where I had been..

It gave me redemption/support from the unlikeliest sources:

 

As a reader of this blog, you may have no idea what kind of impact you have when you leave a comment, but it truly is amazing.

I was flooded with joy as I read all the positive supportive comments pouring in from both the divorce post and the civil lawsuit post.

Here were complete “strangers” from the internet (by the way I do not consider anyone of you strangers anymore) that had such a positive impact on my life.

I found that there are others like me that needed my support.

 

There were a few private messages I received from the Contact Me form that asked for advice on their current situations which I gladly gave.

Although I am not an expert in these matters, I felt that even the simple act of just commiserating together brought healing to a painful situation for all parties involved.

It then dawned on me.

Perhaps I can use this platform as a sounding board for people who have gone through one of the most emotionally and financially traumatic experiences possible.

For the people who have been through divorce, I hoped that, by sharing your experiences on this blog, you would gain similar benefits as I did.

For those whose marriage is failing or are currently going through a divorce, perhaps you can gain inspiration from these submissions and realize that there is indeed a light at the end of a seemingly endless dark tunnel.

 

 

If you, or someone you know, would like to submit a Divorce and FIRE story, I would love to hear from you.

You can remain anonymous unless you specifically give permission to reveal your identity.

I have created an outline of some of the topics you might want to consider elaborating on in your submission.

 

 

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