How Unhealthy Relationships Can Trigger Monetary Problems
For an audio version of this post, please click on the speaker icon (top left)
For long-time readers of this site, you may remember the post, “The Ultimate Checklist To Follow When Your Kids Move Out,” which was written by Good Nelly.
That post was well-received on this site and I was therefore happy to find out that Good Nelly had another post that she wanted to appear on XRAYVSN.
[Good Nelly and I have no financial relationship]
We pretty well know the fact that money problems can lead to an unhealthy relationship.
But the opposite situation can be just as valid.
An unhealthy relationship can just as easily give rise to financial issues.
Check out how unhealthy relationships can trigger monetary problems:
You can’t plan a realistic budget and follow it
In order to have a healthy relationship with money, it is important to establish a realistic budget.
Without a budget, you can’t track where your money is going, and it’s also a bit tough to plan your financial goals.
If in a relationship both partners cannot arrive to a common ground and plan a suitable budget, the chances for financial success are reduced dramatically.
It is not sufficient for each individual in a relationship to plan a budget based on his or her income alone as the overall financial result will not be as effective as a unified, combined budget.
The sum is truly greater than its individual parts in this instance.
You can’t decide about financial goals together
Relationship discord bleeds into financial discord which affects the ability to have unified financial goals to aim for.
Larger financial goals require both spouses to be on board for both moral and financial support, something that is not possible in an unhealthy relationship.
Partners not seeing eye to eye are unlikely to have common short and/or long-term goals, making achieving them even more difficult.
Even if there are some individual financial goals, both of you need to plan together to attain them.
So, when you don’t have a healthy relationship, it is difficult to decide on goals and work together to achieve them.
You will be responsible if you cosign a loan
If you cosign a loan and your spouse doesn’t make the payments on time, then you will be responsible for the payments.
If you can’t make these payments your credit score can suffer.
Even if your spouse files for bankruptcy, you are still be responsible to make the payment.
In such a situation, your only option may be to opt for cosigner release and remove your name from the cosigned loan.
However this is only possible if your loan has such terms and conditions available for you to take advantage of it.
You can incur credit card debt
If you have taken out a supplementary credit card in your spouse’s name, then it becomes your responsibility to make the payments.
You are viewed similar to the primary holder of the card as it is treated as a single account.
A supplementary card comes with a credit limit that is typically divided between the primary and supplementary card holder.
So, if your spouse uses such a card and you’re not able to pay the bills, then you both will fall into debt.
Although there are debt relief options, why incur debt in the first place when you can avoid it?
You can set a lower sub-limit on the card as well as limiting ATM cash withdrawals.
Supplementary cards are also mentioned in your credit report; so be careful while taking out such cards for your partner.
Unhealthy relationships and property
Buying a home is one of the biggest financial decisions a couple can encounter.
When both of you can’t discuss and arrive at a unified decision, how will you ever be able to buy a house?
This can also be detrimental to your overall net worth.
Moreover, if the house is in your spouse’s name, then he/she can sell the property and you can be homeless.
So, if you have a strained relationship with your partner, it is better if you can come to an agreement about how to deal with the property.
If possible, include your name on the property title so that you have equal rights.
You can’t teach good money habits to your children
So, when you don’t practice good money habits, your children may also follow in your footsteps.
As a result, your children may also face monetary problems in the future.
They won’t be able to plan a budget and chances are high that they will also be burdened with student loan debt.
You can be a victim of financial infidelity
When we are discussing the effect of an unhealthy relationship over monetary problems, financial infidelity also comes into the picture.
You may have no idea about how much your partner is earning.
If you have joint accounts, a partner can use the money without your consent.
You will only come to know after the amount is withdrawn, and that is only if you monitor the account.
It will therefore be difficult for you to work towards achieving financial security.
Financial security is an almost impossible dream when you’re dealing with unhealthy relationship and monetary problems.
So, what can be the remedy to all these problems?
The discussion will remain incomplete if we can’t find a way out.
For those individuals who still choose to remain together, professional financial counseling may be of benefit.
Here are some tips to keep your financial life in order:
- Keep separate bank accounts
- Check out account statements to be aware of what is going on
- Decide a time every month when you will talk about your finances as a couple
- Divide the bills and loan payments if both of you are earning
- Start an emergency fund and try to have about 6 months’ worth lifestyle cost
- Look for an income opportunity if you don’t have a decent income source
- Start working extra to earn more and keep the amount in your separate bank account
- Practice a frugal lifestyle and save
- If required, talk to an advisor and start making relatively safe investments
- Pull out and monitor your credit reports at definite intervals
- Start saving for your retirement
There is a close association between finances and relationships.
So, if you can manage your finances properly, your relationship might also improve to some extent and vice versa.
So, manage your finances and lead a happy life.
I would like to introduce the newest sponsor to the XRAYVSN family:
PHYSICIAN FAMILY FINANCIAL ADVISORS INC.
If you’re not an M.D. or D.O. and you don’t have kids, don’t even consider Physician Family Financial Advisors.
Ben Utley and his team believe children are more likely to realize their full potential when raised in a financially secure household, so they only accept physician families as clients. (They define a physician family as a household with at least one child and one medical doctor.)
Utley also believes financial security should not cost a fortune, so his firm charges a level monthly subscription fee based on the depth of each client relationship, not the depth of your pocket.
As a Certified Financial Planner with more than 20 years experience serving physicians, Ben leads a team of in-house specialists who can address the many financial issues physicians face including budgeting, cash flow, student loans, insurance planning (they don’t sell insurance), retirement planning and college, and of course, investing.
Physician Family may be the most transparent firm in this space. Their prices and services are clearly posted on their website. To learn more, visit physicianfamily.com.
If you are in search of financial help, please consider enlisting the service of any of the sponsors of this blog who I feel are part of the “good guys and gals of finance.”
Even a steadfast DIY’er can sometimes gain benefit from the occasional professional input.
If you find yourself enjoying this blog, please add to Xrayvsn’s superpowers by subscribing (your email will be kept private and you will get up to date emails regarding the latest posts and bonus material like the net worth spreadsheet template I created).
As my email subscriber list grows it validates my decision to start this blog and to continue to try and provide worthy content for your eyes.
NOTE: The website XRAYVSN contains affiliate links and thus receives compensation whenever a purchase through these links is made (at no further cost to you). Although these proceeds help keep this site going they do not have any bearing on the reviews of any products I endorse which are from my own honest experiences. Thank you- XRAYVSN